Hi, my name is Jamie, and I'm addicted to food.
I know it's a weird thing to write a blog post about.
But I need to.
I need to show someone I love that they aren't the only person who suffers with addiction. I need this person to know that some of us also know how hard it is Every Single Moment to keep ourselves in control. I want them to know that I honestly believe we can overcome these addictions easier by sticking together, by checking in with each other, and having someone to help hold us accountable for our actions. We have to be honest with ourselves and others 100% of the time. No hiding. No cover ups. Keep it out in the open. Don't do anything that you'd be ashamed of telling your spouse. Or your mother. Or your best friend. Or a complete stranger.
Yesterday I ate 5 or 6 cookies. When no one was around to see me do it. And I feel like crud about it. But I'm telling you now. And I'm promising that I want to be better. I want to stop hiding while I eat. I want to be able to sit right in front of my children and not be ashamed of what I've eaten that day. Because I don't want them to be like me. I want them to be healthy. I want them to eat healthy food AND have healthy eating habits.
I honestly think some people just have an addictive streak. I'm no scientist, or doctor. I haven't done any research. But I think many of us are born with the ability to easily become addicted. And it just depends on what we have in our lives. I don't drink or smoke. But if I did - I'd probably become addicted. I don't do much exercise- but many years ago when i did - I started to become addicted to it. At this point it my life, I have food. And it is what I spend a majority of my time thinking about, or wanting.
I think we can all help each other if we stop hiding. Stop pretending nothings wrong. Stop thinking we are the only one in the world, or in our social circles, or in our family with this problem. With an addiction.
So I'm asking for a favor. Will you tell me what your addicted to and work with me to change? I mean really, honestly, for life - change?
Food? Drugs? Alcohol? Shopping? Computer? Exercise? Games? Porn? Tanning? Reading?
Some addictions don't seem as bad as others. Right now, I'm kinda wishing it was exercise I was addicted to. But any addiction can be unhealthy if left unchecked. When you neglect people/parts of your life because of an addiction - I think something's wrong. And we need to get it under control.
Please help me. Help me show this person that they aren't alone in this recovery process. I want to change myself. And I want this person to change too. Before something happens to their life that they can't fix. Please help me.
*If you're worried about legal ramifications of posting your name with your addiction fee free to do it anonymously.
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6 comments:
Jamie!!!! I'm totally addicted to food too! That's what I meant when I said I've had the hardest time losing weight because I hate being hungry, I hate telling myself I can't have something and I crave treats and snacks all day long! I could eat a whole package of oreos in one sitting if I wanted too! We definitely need to talk. This biggest loser competition held me accoutable. I didn't want the other ladies to see that my weight had gone up not one bit and that helped me keep myself in check. Using the Myfitness Pal app also helped me realize what I was eating and allowed me to really eat whatever I wanted but once I hit 1200 calories I had to stop and I have and it's been amazing but I know I still have the tendencies to just go eat an entire container of ice cream, just thinking about and typing about it right now makes me want to run for a spoon! But you can do it! We can do it! :)
My name is Teisha and I too am addicted to food!
I loooooove food! I am always thinking about what I am going to eat next or what type of goodie I should bake. I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember. Food is everything in my family. Every single celebration we have includes food.
Growing up I was always over weight. I still am but back then I would hide food. I would put it under my bed or in my closet just so I could eat it when I wanted and no one would know. As a teenager it became worse and I became bulimic for several years because I was so ashamed. I got help though but my body has never been the same. Now that I have a child I realize how bad my addiction really is and how bad it's affecting him. I don't want him to be addicted too but when he sees me eat all the time he thinks ok. I need to teach him better. As Albert Einstein said "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." I will make this difficulty an opportunity to tech my son that we eat to live and not live to eat!
Thanks for this post! I know you can overcome your addiction!!
Mine is so food and it just seems to have been getting worst lately. Last night when Robert was not home, because I would have never done this in front of him, I ate 1/2 an container of ice cream!! I do believe that some people have more addictive behaviors and I totally am one of those people too. Good to know I am not the only one that struggles with a food addiction.
Isn't it awful that something that can make us feel so good while we're eating it (chocolate chip cookies, doughnuts, ice cream give me instant bliss) can also make us feel so bad afterwards? I don't always feel bad after, sometimes I just don't care (or am really good at repressing negative feelings)... but it's when I'm sabotaging my other *more important* goals is when I feel REGRET. Indulging, whether it's a treat when I'm trying to cut calories, or reading a book instead of doing the work that's waiting for me (like I did this morning), gives us that instant gratification, but what is our true priority? For me, I have to break out of the irrational how-I-feel-in-the-moment and try my hardest to remember the rational decisions and goals that will bring me true and lasting joy, not just momentary and artificial bliss (there's a gospel principle in there). I have had to change my whole mindset- to not use food/reading as a way to escape or avoid feelings or duties, and honestly it is a daily struggle- some days are harder than others, and most days I don't do as well as I wish. I'm so glad you posted about your struggle because I feel like I'm at a turning point right now (again) and support and motivation from friends is extremely helpful- for me I post my successes on facebook and love it when people leave supportive comments.
My goal is to live a healthier lifestyle by exercising and cutting calories to lose weight while making healthy food choices. Here are some things that have helped me...
~ Tracking calories on livestrong.com, and making it my homepage so every time I go online I can quickly update what I've eaten. It gives me a wake-up call to see it add up and the reality of the results.
~ Getting out of the house! I eat far less and am not faced by the temptation to snack when I am kept busy.
~ Keep the crap out of the house. I can't eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner if it's just not there. I've also stopped buying cereal since that is also something I'll overeat- even the "healthy" kind. And bonus- I save money!
~Exercising in the morning starts my day with the good rational perspective, giving me more energy and motivation to do well. This is definitely the most helpful, because the endorphins naturally cheer me up and I'm not so hard on myself. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it, but I always feel better afterwards. I never feel regret over a workout.
~ Replacing treats with healthier substitutes. My go-to treat is frozen yogurt. Way fewer calories than ice cream, I only get it when I'm out of the house, and only when I have the time. Because it's usually priced by the ounce, I don't get a huge amount.
~ Prayer and scripture study also help me stay focused on what's really important in my life and what I value and want for myself and my family.
I hope this helps! Stay strong and keep at it! Every day is a new chance to meet your goals. I also have a group blog that I've neglected lately called Girls In Shape where I can rant about my struggles and exclaim over my successes. And share useful information, and sometimes just funny stuff. Email me if you'd like to join and post on it! I think I'll copy my comment here and post it there since it's long enough to be an actual post :)
We love you and miss you here in La Mesa!
Heidi
colorvibrant (at) gmail (dot) com
Although I am feeling like I belong with the food-addicted crowd, I'm going to take a different route, since this is supposed to be more of a confessional/what do I *most* need to work on.
Facebook!! I think about things that happen throughout my day as "what should I say about *THIS* on facebook??" I sit & I read everyone's status updates & look through everyone's pictures & I play the games & I write my own updates... waiting & *hoping* that someone will "like" them or even (OOH!) comment on them!
I've hopped on the computer "just for a few minutes to update my CityVille" & realize it's been a few hours.
I've even created a facebook account "for the kids". It's got the tightest security & I only allow family to become their friends, but now "they" can play some of the games Mommy plays... or I can play for them.
I know, I know... "pssh. What harm is a few hours on facebook?"
My answer: I have 4 children. For most of the day, I am the only one watching them. Most of the time my kids are good at keeping themselves entertained - it's a perk of having 4. However, the youngest is only a year old & is always getting into things.
Have you heard about the Colorado mother who was playing facebook games while her 13-month-old child DROWNED in the bathtub? That was a wake-up call.
My family especially knows how I can become so focused on something that I don't notice what's going on around me.
TV (we don't have any type of TV service now), books (most of my novels are in storage, back with my Dad & who has time to read with 4 children?).
These were my past addictions. Now there's facebook.
I have been getting better about the posts/status updates. I've been filtering - do I really need the world to read about this? Do most of the people I have as "friends" even care to hear about this?
I've gotta stop the games though - hours wasted. My children often fall asleep around the house because we don't have a proper bedtime with Mommy always on the computer.
This is what I have to change.
And those cookies & ice cream I keep sneaking when the kids are watching a movie in the other room.
<3
Okay, I can't stop thinking about this. I left a few things out.
The games get me. Facebook games.
Netflix's instant queue gets me. I watch my TV shows online when I can.
And they consume me until I'm "done".
Did you know the entire first 4 seasons of Psych can be watched in as little as 1-2 weeks? Bones's first 5 seasons in about 2-3 weeks?
I've gone through this before. The 'cleaning out' of my games & online "stuff". There was a very important reason. My marriage was on the line.
(*ack! personal confession! Just hoping it helps someone else!)
Yes, it took my husband being tempted to take the kids to his mother's & 'leave me' temporarily to make me take notice of how bad things had gotten. Luckily, we were able to have our heart-to-heart & figure things out before he left.
I haven't told anyone about that. We have a good marriage. Not without the behind-the-scenes struggles though, believe me.
I've been doing better than I was that time, but I've been slipping back into the games. I've been neglecting the house chores again. The kids don't let me ignore them, which is probably the saving grace there.
It does take a lot of work & 'reminders' to keep doing what I need to instead of 'vegging' online all day long. I have so many things I *want* to do, projects I've started & never finished. Things I want to do with the kids & teach the kids about.
Thanks for kicking me out of the computer chair Jamie! Since my first comment I've been folding my mountain of clean laundry (clean thanks to my hubby, unfolded thanks to me). Now I'm gonna go back to folding. I need reminders & wake-up calls every now & again.
xoxo
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